Saturday, August 28, 2010

To be, not to be

Don’t worry; I am not going to talk about career plans or future prospects. I am not going to talk about how I wonder if I would do something with my life or if I will fulfill my parents’ and grandparents’ dreams. Naah!

I am not here to teach you the recipe of life, but based on my experiences, I can surely give you some of the secret ingredients that might spice up your life.

I am simply here to discuss about the state of mind when we are wise enough to decide between “yes” and “no”. Trust me, it’s not as simple as it seems. In fact, it’s the most difficult choice. For instance, if your friend asked you “Do you think my wife’s hot?”, it’s definitely not going to be a “yes” or a “no”. The worst part is that these two extreme responses give extreme results. And that is one major reason why we are always afraid to answer in yes and no.
So, if such a simple question can’t be answered honestly, what are we going to do about the greater questions in life? Because, most of the decisions we make are either “yes” or “no”. So when does “yes” become a bitch and a pain in the backside, or when does “no” make us a bitch to avoid that pain in the backside?

“Are you ready to take up the responsibility”, “yes, sir”; “Will you work on all weekends this month?”, there! There’s your “oops” moment. Yes/no, yes/no?

Yes-pain in the ass. No-you’re fired. Instead, “how about 2 weekends, sir?” works much better.
“Do you care for me?”, “yes, dear”; “Do you love me?”, oops again! Yes-no backing out. No-ruin everything. Instead, “how about we just keep things as they are?”

Does it have to be this way or that? Why can’t we just pick up something hanging there in between?  Evasiveness is not bad you know. I came across an article which read “saying no nicely”. It doesn’t mean smiling sweetly and then saying “no”. No. It means how to avoid saying “no” and yet making sure that the concept of your intentions was grasped. It has a lot to do with your presence of mind or your ability to come up with appropriate excuses at the right time. This is exactly what we all need to learn- how to avoid a direct question and turn it into our favour.
BUT, when it comes to the matters of the heart, how do we even avoid such questions? Just looking into those love-filled eyes makes you wonder: will it be fair to say “no” to them? So, should we just say “yes”? Will that be right? Sometime or the other, it’s going to come to a point when eventually you will have to say “no”.

So, the bottom line being, evasiveness should be used, not abused.

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