Sunday, August 29, 2010

This is it.

The only thing constant in this world is Change. Be it change in appearance, change in a relationship or the phenomenal cosmic change. Everybody goes through a gradual change in life. Some of us have a fortune (or misfortune) of going through a major sudden change.

So how much have we changed? From running around hunting for food from nature, to consuming chemically treated food and drinks. From roaming in the jungle naked, to being suit clad and making business deals. There was a time when it used to take months to travel across the sea; and now it barely takes a few hours.

Take India for an instance, in case of the appearance, women were forced to keep their heads covered in pallu. But now when you look around, the total amount of cloth used in covering one woman equals that of a pallu! Soon everyone will start enduring anorexia as well. I don’t even want to go into the change in culture.

We are all aware of the climate change as well. Millions of years ago, the earth faced a very similar change. Of course, it was the other way ‘round. At that time, the earth was getting built into its total capacity of evolution. I am not saying that it’s fully evolved at present. Or maybe it is and now it’s just “un-evolving”. Now the whole process seems to be going backwards. Our behavioral, clothing and eating habits are becoming closer to those of our primitive ancestors. Maybe this is the way the earth is letting us know that now it’s time. It’s time for a new earth to be formed. It’s time for the human species to perish and give way to new species. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if a day came when we would be roaming around covered in leaves, hunting for food.

Conserve water, conserve electricity, conserve resources. But hey, we are going to fall short of these things very soon. What is predicted of December 21, 2012 might just actually happen. If not the whole world in one go, it’ll atleast start around that time. You must be knowing that a leaf takes days to perish. Now imagine how much time a whole planet will take to perish. Of course it’s going to take years. But the time is here.
Sitting by the window, staring at the urchins playing,
Feeling the breeze caress; with it, the trees swaying,
With numerous thoughts running in mind, wondering
Is it just me, or is the whole world changing?

It rains in winter and its freezing during spring,
It’s no more a mystery, the atmosphere is depleting,
Dancing in the first rain with him, wondering
Is this still pure, or is the whole world changing?

The sun is scorching my body more than ever,
It’s smoggy down the lane almost forever,
Lying on my back seeking the invisible stars, wondering
Is there still time, or is the whole world changing?

Sometimes, my land is covered in water, sometimes it’s bereft,
Somewhere everyone’s parched, somewhere everything’s swept,
Waddling my way through the flood, wondering
Is this all natural, or is the whole world changing?

The time when every other day a new species would appear,
People were afraid of what they might discover,
Sensing less and less of them around, wondering
Are they still there or is the whole world changing? 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

To be, not to be

Don’t worry; I am not going to talk about career plans or future prospects. I am not going to talk about how I wonder if I would do something with my life or if I will fulfill my parents’ and grandparents’ dreams. Naah!

I am not here to teach you the recipe of life, but based on my experiences, I can surely give you some of the secret ingredients that might spice up your life.

I am simply here to discuss about the state of mind when we are wise enough to decide between “yes” and “no”. Trust me, it’s not as simple as it seems. In fact, it’s the most difficult choice. For instance, if your friend asked you “Do you think my wife’s hot?”, it’s definitely not going to be a “yes” or a “no”. The worst part is that these two extreme responses give extreme results. And that is one major reason why we are always afraid to answer in yes and no.
So, if such a simple question can’t be answered honestly, what are we going to do about the greater questions in life? Because, most of the decisions we make are either “yes” or “no”. So when does “yes” become a bitch and a pain in the backside, or when does “no” make us a bitch to avoid that pain in the backside?

“Are you ready to take up the responsibility”, “yes, sir”; “Will you work on all weekends this month?”, there! There’s your “oops” moment. Yes/no, yes/no?

Yes-pain in the ass. No-you’re fired. Instead, “how about 2 weekends, sir?” works much better.
“Do you care for me?”, “yes, dear”; “Do you love me?”, oops again! Yes-no backing out. No-ruin everything. Instead, “how about we just keep things as they are?”

Does it have to be this way or that? Why can’t we just pick up something hanging there in between?  Evasiveness is not bad you know. I came across an article which read “saying no nicely”. It doesn’t mean smiling sweetly and then saying “no”. No. It means how to avoid saying “no” and yet making sure that the concept of your intentions was grasped. It has a lot to do with your presence of mind or your ability to come up with appropriate excuses at the right time. This is exactly what we all need to learn- how to avoid a direct question and turn it into our favour.
BUT, when it comes to the matters of the heart, how do we even avoid such questions? Just looking into those love-filled eyes makes you wonder: will it be fair to say “no” to them? So, should we just say “yes”? Will that be right? Sometime or the other, it’s going to come to a point when eventually you will have to say “no”.

So, the bottom line being, evasiveness should be used, not abused.

Deal makers or Deal breakers?

Sometimes, all you need is your best friend. Be it telling them everything you feel or simply cry in their arms; be it just listen to them when they counsel us or simply sit there together staring into nothingness. I mean, why would you want to invent a hypothetical friend known as “dear diary” when you already have a best friend to share it all with!! It’s an unofficial deal between best friends to keep each others’ secrets. The “code of honour” is what binds us deal makers.  You would think that what happens between two best friends stays between them (that being the deal here) But hey! Open up your eyes! Just go check how much people actually know about you, even when you know it was only between you and your best friend/s.

It’s the way of the world where there are always enough incentives offered to the other deal maker to turn them into a deal breaker. This simple unspoken law, methinks, is proved in each and every daily soap. It’s not just friends or best friends, it involves all those who you have shared your secret with. But the problem here is, the closer you are to a person, the more dangerous it turns out to be. When you confine something into a “trusted” friend, you don’t expect her to spill it out to anyone; rather than an acquaintance that you happened to talk to. As such, these acquaintances are not even part of the deal since they never agreed upon the “code of honour”. So, then what? To look for another deal maker?

But this is not as easy as tearing off the diary that betrayed you, and starting to write a new one. It might be easier to dump your guy and go for another one for a change! So what if he was really loyal to you and never spilled any of your secrets (maybe because the secrets were too lame!)? But it’s still most difficult to find another BFF (Best Friend Forever).

So, how do you differentiate these deal breakers from all the deal makers. For one thing, they always have a tell. A “tell” is something which gives away the sign of her being a probable deal breaker. For example, when you hint that you are about to let out a very juicy gossip, there will definitely be a slight twitch of the nose or lips. Or else look out for a sudden spark in the eyes, which lasts only for a fraction of a second. These are the bitchy ones!

And, as usual there is the other kind of deal breakers, who’ll have a typical look on their face, which says that they are not quite sure whether they want to know it or not. The problem being that they don’t trust themselves to keep it in their stomach for too long. If it becomes too much (or even too long), they have to puke it out! These are the “majboor” ones.

So, if I have two deal makers, would I be breaking one deal if I were loyal to the other? The speed at which we are moving today, we might have to change BFFs every week. And yet we keep on making and breaking the deals; which brings us back to the notion that more than anything, we NEED these deal makers; who cares if they’ll turn out to be deal breakers or not!! 

Grow up...Not!

From the very first day of our lives -or even before we are actually born– a lot of expectations are imposed upon us!*THUMP*! But who decides the age at which we are supposed to take charge of our actions? Is it when we are caught cheating in the exams or when we “forgot” to complete our homework thrice in a row? Is it when we “accidentally” started dating our best friends’ partner or is it when we forgot to pick up our kid from school? Or are these simply some innocent gestures, suggesting the way of life? There will definitely be a zillion times in your life when people must have asked you to “grow up”! Be it when you are trying to steal money from your dad’s pocket to buy candy or when you are trying to shop-lift!

So, what is “growing up” (of course, apart from the metabolic growth)? Growing is learning manners and when and how to actually use those…blah blah blah. It’s when you dump all your Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes in a box stuffed into some corner of the attic. It is also realizing that you are not the only bitch in the world! Each and every soul on this planet is selfish.

However, there are two kinds of people in this world. The first ones are the ones that believe in living life according to the rules set by the institution: say never bunking classes, never to distract your neighbor, or never to speak ill of your teachers or in-laws (yeah, right!!).The other kind are the ones who always live off the edge. Whether it’s lying to your parents about a night party you attended or simply challenging a monstrous guy just because he called your BFF fat!! Then again, there is the third kind. These are what we call the ‘smart asses’! They always know when to cross the line and when to simply sit-back and lick asses!! But, I am not going to discuss about the “asses” I have come across in my life.

You know, there is a very thin line between being “childish” and “childlike”. The only problem is to know where exactly to draw the line (as is, in any other case). Being childish means not knowing when to stop acting like a child (say : whining and making stupid unreasonable demands). Being childlike is simply listening to the child inside you, yet not letting it overpower you. Demanding for a candy and crying until someone got it for you is childish. But craving badly for a candy and wondering whether to bake a cake or buy a pastry is childlike. It’s like asking your husband to hire a guy as his Personal Assistant instead of asking him to have lunch with you every day. In short, if you are childish, there’s still scope for you to grow up (need more so, than scope), whereas you’ll never grow out of being childlike.

I like to have milk and bourn vita instead of coffee! I like to hug my teddy good night. I like to use a baby tone once a while (maybe more often so). But does that really mean I am not a grown up? I am well behaved most of the time, manage my accounts considerably well (that’s part of being a Gujju though), and I act as an agony aunt to all my friends as well.

It probably means that a part of me doesn’t really want to grow up. You would think I am going backwards: Instead of growing out of the petty things, I am growing more and more fond of them. Instead of being fed up of having all that Pani Puri, I crave even more for it now! As and when we grow up, like any other memory storage device, our brain also starts filling up with memories. More the age, more the data, the more we start cherishing them. Nostalgia is always the barrier that stops you from moving ahead at some or the other point of your life.

So when these memories and “childlikeness” bring so much happiness to us, why grow up?

Friday, August 27, 2010


Have you ever wondered if you have made the right choice or whether you are supposed to keep looking for the right one? Why is it always so difficult to choose? Is there no ranking system in the matters of Love : "I love you best; you are fifth on my list"? They always say 'trust your first instinct'! But will someone please come and tell us WHAT or WHO our first instinct was?? I know people who have waited and waited (read: dated and dated) and have ultimately found their match. On the other hand, I also know people who grabbed the first person who showed interest in them and they didn't do bad either. So, which category do we fall in?

When God created us, he should have provided us with a rule-book or a guide. For, whenever we find ourselves in a fix, all we have to do is refer to the context in the guide and there! The perfect solution to the problem! For some of us who believe in God, is it because we believe that no other force could create such wonders? Or is it because we are too lousy to take up responsibility for our actions and knowing that you have someone else to blame? He probably only exists so we can keep taking up quests and keep solving them along the way. He is there to nudge us ahead, so we can tell ourselves "Everything will be fine." 
You don't believe in the power of prayers, but that's okay. To each's own. But you've got to believe in something. Something more than you can touch, taste or see. Because life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold on to.
No matter how much we crib about our lives, in the end, it always falls into place. I'm sure too that I will find my perfect guy at the right time. Believing in God means believing in yourself. The day you start believing in yourself, God is with you and this is what we call "FAITH".